I think that I'm drowning in my school work. I wanted so hard to engorge myself in this blog and actually write something of importance. I love this blog so much but I always seem to be so busy. When I am at work there is a computer availible but the guy I work with now is ALWAYS on it! So that leaves little time left to blog.
Lets talk about school for a bit, since I have mixed feelings about it. These mixed feeling are new. I love school so much, but I almost feel like its a waste of money, since I will probably end up as a teacher if I end up getting a university degree job at all. That's not very much money per year, and even if I lived with the bare minimum, it will take me years to pay off this odious debt. I don't really mind working customer service, provided that its not in a call centre, or in the complaint department.
Even though I am quite certain that in many ways I would enjoy being a teacher and would find it rewarding many days, I am scared that it will throw me into a depressing washcycle of 9-5 routine. I'm afraid that I won't be living for today and all of that. I'm also scared that even if I did enjoy being a teacher, it would be a waste because I'd be scared that I wouldn't be able to earn the respect of my students. I had an amazing teacher when I was in high school. In four years I only ever heard him yell twice. He never had to yell because everyone respected him so much, and I don't know how he did it. I'm a highly emotional person, and I get very sad when people disrespect me. What to do what to do.
On the other hand, I love going to school. Being an activist and running a business and a full time student just makes life a little crazy. I am an English Literature student with a Concentration in Theatre Arts and I love both of these subjects. This year I have loved all of the books we have had to read, but I'm consistantly falling behind becuase of everythign else. If I didn't have activism and the Underground Cafe, life would be so drab.
School should be fucking free! Tuition has gone up 500 dollars every year, but funding for post secondary education has barely even budged. Shawn Graham is giving money to first year students, but what about people like me, in their 4th year? I'll be in the work force in a year or two, what will I do then? Education is a right, not a priviledge. I could have taken a lot of other subjects I enjoy, but I would have had to go part time since they require straight A's to get a job. I used to be a psychology student and was quite good. But a couple of B's were not going to get me anywhere; however, I could not afford to go part time becuase it would have cost too much extra money for housing to go to school for 6 years instead of 4. I loved psychology but I decided that it was best for me to move over to english, which I also loved equally, becuase I feared if my marks were not good enough I would not get into the masters program (FYI a bachelor of psychology is useless and you can't get into the master's program without at least a 3.8 GPA. I had a 3.5).
I am looking over what I have written and I'm noticing that the word 'fear' and words that are synonymous with it appear an awful lot. People should not have to fear their futures, especially over things like money. Everyone wonders why so many people take off to alberta to work. Duh, fear of being unable to provide for themselves and their families. Fear of debt from school. Fear that they will be failures. Fear is an incredible thing that can motivate people -- even if its away from what we want to do most.
I apologize for this pathetic update with my ramblings of my personal life. Tomorrow or the day after I shall post my ramblings from my zine. The zine was illustrated, so I apologize in advance that there will be no drawings online. If you wish to read the zine, please visit the underground cafe. I would like to take this time to initiate a debate. What do you think about money and education? Do you think education is a right, or a priviledge? Do you think people should follow their dreams, or try to figure out something more practical for their futures?
